Have you had those moments when you want to just sit and hide? Where you feel like you can’t do anything right? I know I have!
We all have those moments. Our society has become about being perfect, especially if you are a woman and a mom! It seems like everyday there is someone sharing an opinion on something that you are doing “wrong.”
In this world of mom wars, media and “well-meaning” people it is so easy to feel not good enough. We begin to compare ourselves to other moms, feel bad when we get snappy or feel like we screwed up. The list could go on with examples of ways that we are hard on ourselves.
For so long we were told to just improve our self esteem and we would be happy. Here is the thing – self esteem is tied to meeting our expectations. In today’s world of pinterest worthy pancake shapes our expectations are too high. Therefore, the self esteem never goes up, and we continue to feel not good enough.
Somehow average has become not good enough. We try to be perfect and when we are not, we feel defeated
The self judgement we have leads to insecurity, depression and anxiety.
So what’s the solution?
Instead of trying to be perfect, develop a relationship with yourself where all of your needs are met BY YOU.
A relationship where it is okay to be flawed.
A relationship that shows love and understanding.
That is what self compassion is.
Self-compassion is different than self esteem because we still love ourselves even when we don’t meet expectations.
Self-compassion has become a big part of my life. I tend to be a perfectionist with some things, specifically birthdays and vacations and holidays. I want them to be memorable for my kids. I put a lot of focus and attention to those special moments. I was getting so wrapped up in making everything a certain way, I was feeling anxious and upset when they didn’t work out….which of course they never do because kids aren’t perfect either.
When our expectations are set too high, we inevitably feel let down.
The best way to be a great mom is to have self compassion. To love yourself and reduce the pressures of being Ms. Supermom.
Be Kind to Yourself: Stop and think about how you would treat a friend in the same situation. I am guessing it would be very different than how you treat yourself.
Become Mindful: Mindfulness is being in the moment and accepting how you feel – without judgement.
Positive Self Talk: Start to notice when those critical statements pop into your mind. How can you change them to be more loving and kind?
Self-Care: Take time to yourself and practice self care. You can’t take care of others if you haven’t taken care of yourself first.
Journal: Journal kind words to yourself. Journaling can be a great way to become mindful of your emotions.
We are all moms and we need to show compassion to each other and ourselves. Join our group of moms who are ready to care for themselves in order to live an amazing life with their kids. We are a judgement free and supportive group!