How to Begin Letting Go of the Anger – In 4 Steps

Have you ever been so angry at something someone did that you actually felt rage? Years later, when you think about that person and event, your heart probably`races and the anger comes back in full swing. It seems almost impossible to begin letting go of those feelings. Although you may not think about them or the situation on a daily basis, there is still an underlying anger that pops up from time to time.

So how do you let go of the hurt?


In order to start the healing process, you must first accept that you are holding onto this anger. As you process through the hurt, you will begin to recognize that the anger is taking up more space in your head and heart then if you just let it go. This person or event is holding you back from living your life to the fullest. You are allowing them to control your life. The moment you recognize these things, you can start letting go of the anger and beginning to heal.

Express Yourself

When you have gone through something very traumatic, it is like you have a million different thoughts bouncing around in your head. Writing through or talking about it helps make the whole picture more clear.
When I see clients who are holding onto anger toward someone, we begin by writing that person a letter or expressing their feelings through art or a project. Many times they end up letting out a key piece to the puzzle. You of course never have to send the letter.

See Things from Their Perspective

To see things from their perspective is one of the hardest parts in getting over anger. This is does not mean that what they did was okay – it was not! It just means that we accept and understand that they to have had hurts which have caused them to act in such a way.

To do this, I always think about the quote, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”.

Letting go of the Anger


Forgiving someone does not mean that you are best friends with them. It does not even mean that you have to talk to them ever again. It simply is that moment when you are no longer letting them control you. That moment when you first feel at peace with the situation.

Here is a great article on Positively Positive which explains the process very well.

If you struggle with letting go of anger, please feel free to call Stephanie at Authentically You Counseling and Wellness anytime! 321-412-0177